Eric & Stacey, sobbing in a tree; S-O-B-B-I-N-G.

For those who listened to this week's show, here are some of the moments we mentioned in our conversation. Grab your tissues.

From Terms of Endearment, here's that moment when Debra Winger says goodbye to her sons on her deathbed. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Here's the reunion scene at the end of The Color Purple that never fails to make Eric blubber. Whoopi doesn't say a word, but her reactions are enough to draw tears from a stone.

This is the final scene in David Tennant's run of Doctor Who, which turned Stacey into a blubbering mess.

Here's the moment in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, when Will regains, then just as quickly loses his relationship with his father.

And here's a scene from the saddest episode ever of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, when Buffy is forced to tell her young sister Dawn that their mother is dead -- featuring Sarah Michelle Gellar and Michelle Trachtenberg at their very best.

And finally, here's that Land Rover commercial that turned Stacey into a quivering mass of hormones during her first pregnancy. But honestly, can you blame her?

If you're still functioning, don't forget to hit the "Subscribe" button wherever you listen to podcasts, or maybe stroll on over to iTunes and give us a review. Every little bit of feedback helps. Thanks for listening.

When Favorites Aren't in Favor Any More

by Stacey Fearheiley

I saw Gone With the Wind for the first time when I was 12 years old, growing up in Tennessee.  I was dragged there by one of my best friends. She had read the book and it was being shown on the big screen for the first time in years.  So we went.  And I fell in love.

From that moment until the last 15-20 years, any time I was asked my favorite movie, Gone With the Wind was the answer. Unreservedly.

After I saw the movie and crushed HARD on Clark Gable, I read the book ten times, at least.  I bought everything I could that had to do with Gone With the Wind  Gable, the search for Scarlett, Atlanta....anything at all.  I fan-girled hard!  But why?

I don't think there was just one reason.  I think it was the perfect storm of puberty + beautiful alpha male + smart, sassy heroine who always gets what she goes for...eventually + gorgeous production values + soap opera story line = 1970's teenage white girl from the South dream!

In this week's podcast, Eric and I talk about 1939 and the plethora of really classic films that came out that year.  We talk about Gone With the Wind, The Wizard of Oz, and The Women, specifically.  I mentioned why I hadn't made my daughters watch Gone With the Wind, even though I do still consider it a classic (hint: misogyny and racism).  What I don't really go into is how I got to that decision.  I will admit ... it was painful.

So what happened in the years since my adolescence to change my enthusiasm for this movie for which I had been obsessed?  I guess I'd call it evolution.  My life evolved.  My point of view evolved. My world of acquaintances and experiences evolved.  My thinking evolved.  And there I was, educated past the point where I could truly accept and enjoy as entertainment this bit of a monument to the Old South.

Do I still love bits and pieces of the movie and story?  I do.  But my white privilege lets me.  Now, I'm going to try to not get too political here.  It is not about politics or right and left for me.  It is about who I've become in the intervening decades.  Let me explain.

I grew up in the late 1960's and 70's.  In the afternoons I'd watch Gilligan's Island, Scooby Doo, Bewitched, and I Dream of Jeannie (I will always love you, Larry Hagman!).  This was in the days of 3 networks + PBS on TV.  In high school, cable channels became more abundant and accessible. More options and the 1950's and 60's TV "classics" were no longer shown.  I went to college. I went to work. I traveled. And suddenly it's the late 20th Century, and there is a classic television show network showing I Love Lucy and Leave it to Beaver along w/my childhood faves.

So, as a 30 something year old, I sit down to watch ... to feel that same way again that I did as a kid; To laugh at Jeannie making a mess of Tony's life; To giggle when Samantha had to get Uncle Arthur out of a jam.  So I watched.  I didn't giggle.  I didn't laugh.  I certainly didn't feel that fun, free way I had as a child when watching Sam stifle her magic for Darren or Jeannie call Colonel Nelson "Master".  It made my stomach hurt.

Now, I realize this is a long way to get to a point about Gone With the Wind.  But that stomach churning/turning feeling was even more pronounced when I sat down to watch Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara on the big screen, when it came touring in our area in the 1990's.  I no longer felt comfortable saying that it was my favorite movie ... certainly not around my African-American friends.

Because as beautiful as the dresses, cinematography, directing and acting are ... the story is painful. It's painful in its brushstrokes of misinformation.  I cringe at the accents the black actors have to put on. I wince every time the "n" word and "d" word ("darkie") are dropped.  And I get downright nauseous during the KKK scene where its very existence is rationalized as being only for the "safety" of the womenfolk.

But, Gone With the Wind is still a classic.  It is, technically, film making at its very best.  It lives in the time period in which it was created.  I can accept that.  I can respect that.  But as a woman in 2017, "loving" this movie is now beyond me.  I'm not sad, because I like where I am philosophically and how I think now.  But I do miss the innocent feeling.  You can't go home again.  Wow ... sometimes evolution sucks.

An "Unfairest of Them All" Bloglet

This is going to be short and sweet, but ... in our sixth episode, The Unfairest of Them All, we talked a lot about a report from the Women's Media Center and promised a link to it.

So, here you go: click here to access the full report. There's so much amazing stuff here, including:

The only film in the top-grossing
2,500 movies of all time with
100% female dialogue

• How men dominate news coverage
• How more men than women write and direct for TV and film
• How women are sexualized on screen, as compared to men
• How this "female hypersexuality" can be broken down by race/ethnicity
• The percentages of executive producers, producers, editors, and cinematographers who are female (hint: it's a low number)

Also that breakdown of the top 2,500 movies of all time by how many lines are spoken by women and by men can be found here. In addition to that data, this report includes:

• How often women play lead roles
• Percentage of dialogue according to age (for both men and women)
• An analysis of over 30 Disney screenplays, broken down by gender

If you're a feminist, a data nerd, or just a fan of pop culture, this all makes for some fascinating reading. Enjoy - and thanks for listening! A new episode drops every Tuesday, wherever you stream or download your podcasts.

For Some Tests, There's No Easy A

by Stacey Fearheiley

If you listened to this week's POPeration! podcast you know that Eric and I talked about women in pop culture and in media in particular.  The unfairness monetarily and in role availability specifically.  We talked about how there were so many fewer female roles than male and that the quality of those roles was often insulting.  Eric brought up the Bechdel test.

The Bechdel test asks whether a work of fiction features at least two women or girls who talk to each other about something other than a man or boy.  (Thank you, Wikipedia.)  

What we didn't talk about were variations to that "test". In one variation, a comic book writer stated that her "sexy lamp test" was if a sexy lamp could take the place of your female character and the plots still worked, you should probably do another draft. Thus create a better female character. This intrigued me. Can these tests be used in real life; everyday living; in every day situations?

Do I leave a conversation with a girl friend if we're just talking about her husband or boyfriend?   Can I have a discussion with my female HR rep about my male boss and thus fail?  Do I give that colleague who contributes to my brainstorming meeting as much as a chair to the Salvation Army?

As a feminist, I want to be all gung ho about keeping the world as fair and safe for women as it is for men.  I want equality.  The Bechdel "tests" and its derivations, while evolving from the idea helping to that end,  are not perfect.  Indeed they weren't really meant to be.  They were and are created to just hold a mirror up and say, "look where and who we are.  Do we want to change?  Is this ok?  How can we improve?"

But they are being used in a more weighted way.  Critics are right in that "passing" any of these "tests" does not prove quality, or art.  It doesn't quantify a good story or characters.
As a writer and artist, the idea that I must create characters who are equal to each other, in any way, feels stifling.  I resent it.  I should be able to create characters who have the traits and values I want them to have...they may be male, female, gay, straight, black, white, good or bad.  And therein lies the battle.

Now, clearly no one is making film makers or writers put female characters in their pieces...there are too many male/male buddy movies for that to be a thing.  But maybe we do need to let those who DO write female characters have more opportunities.  Thereby more choices for characters to talk about more than men and more plot lines than those driven by men.

Eric and I mentioned Thelma and Louise, from 1991.  But there have been more recent examples. They include the Ghostbusters (2016), Wonder Woman (2017), Table 19 (2017), Bad Moms (2016) and The Girl on the Train (2016).  

This is by no means an extensive list...there are MANY more, but these were hits and/or bigger budget gigs.  These had marketing money spent on them.  And all were clearly female in brand.

These are facts that make me feel better. The wins, if you will...not the losses.

If the Bechdel test, and those like it, do anything, it is to keep us thinking and aware of the inequalities still out there.  Awareness is key.  Admitting there is a problem is the first step.